Chased by God’s Goodness & Love

The last few days of summer are winding down for us.  The kids had back to school night and I’m considering trekking to Minneapolis later this month for a back to school night of my own.  New beginnings and a more scheduled life are welcome changes after a summer of fun, yet at and times chaotic happenings.  My highschoolers are returning to a school they know and love and are so excited for their junior and senior years – yikes!  The only apprehension I have felt regarding their upcoming school years are the very fact of the years they are in – so close to launching from our nest and leaving this mama missing them desperately.  But I’m going to try not to focus on that and simply focus on enjoying all the remaining moments with two amazing people I’m privileged to raise (sniff, sniff).

My younger boys will be entering a new school this fall – middle school, wowza.  The amount of change they will be facing has this mama a bit apprehensive for these two boys with unique challenges.  I am thankful for committed and caring teachers and staff; many of whom have a strong faith which has led them into the education field to impact kids in positive ways.  I was so thankful as we walked through the halls of the middle school last night to see and talk with many staff who are friends I know to possess a strong faith.  This sets my heart at ease a bit.

And yet I have been prone to anxious thoughts in the past few weeks, which is thankfully not my prevailing pattern of thought (I am more prone to negativity and self-pity – just saying that I definitely have my struggles).  As I spend time in the Word this morning I landed in Psalm 23 – a familiar passage to so many of us.  I was blessed to see with fresh eyes truth in God’s Word.  Verse 6 says:

“Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever.” (NLT)

The word “pursue” jumped off the page and as I read further in the study I was working through I learned that this word in the original Hebrew is radaph, and means “to follow”, or “to chase”.  How beautiful is that?  God’s goodness and love will pursue us, will chase us down.  As I send my kiddos off to school I can be assured that God’s goodness and love will chase after them.  In my own life as I struggle with the hurts and brokenness of this world God’s goodness and love chase me down.  This jumped off the page to me because this has been the truth of my life experientially over and over again.  When I have turned from God in frustration, anger and hurt He has chased after me.  As we have approached each new and scary experience of parenting and wondered how things would work out we have seen the goodness and love of the Lord over and over again as He has placed amazing teachers, paras, therapists, mentors and friends in our kids lives over and over again.

In the face of a broken world where the news can be so discouraging and  downright terrifying (which leads me to simply not follow it most of the time), God’s goodness and love are displayed in our lives over and over again.  Even in the hard times, God has met me in the struggle and shown me His goodness and love through the support of family and friends & His people, through glimpses of His glory and splendor in creation, through simple reminders of the blessings all around us.  Today I am thankful for the reminder of God’s goodness and love that chase after us!

Reengaged

It’s interesting to consider the thoughts and feelings that were going through my mind 2 years ago as I wrote my last post about restlessness.  How quickly life can consume those yearnings for change.  In the midst of waiting on God for a clear direction life speeds along at its’ breakneck pace.  But this restlessness I spoke of sat just below the surface, speaking to me in rare moments of quiet and space and I kept asking God what the big change would be.    

As I waited to hear from the Lord, He continued to work in my life and the life of my family.  As we walked with the Lord, God opened doors for our entire family to reengage in ministry that has filled our hearts and allowed us to use the gifts God has given us.   We have been blessed to step and stretch ourselves in areas of gifting that had laid dormant.  I’ve been blessed to lead worship again; lead an amazing group of people in a wonderful worship choir; and reengage with the mom’s ministry that is near and dear to my heart.  My hubby has been able to reengage in using his gifts in teaching and tech ministry and our teenagers have had wonderful opportunities to explore their giftings in leading worship and teaching as well.  We have been embraced afresh by God’s people and been welcomed in to share in the work of the church in refreshing ways. 

Over the past 2 years I have continued to seek the Lord, but did not until recently get the green light to the move on with this big change in my life.  I wasn’t even sure what that change was supposed to be.  I’ve considered enrolling in grad school for a long time to pursue a master’s in some type of biblical studies program.  In just a couple weeks times this idea went from being just a thought and dream to being a reality.  I am excited to learn more about God and His Word and grow in my faith in new ways through the next two years of study. 

Along with big changes come apprehension and feelings of insecurity in my heart.  I’ve not been a student in a LONG time but I love to study and learn and I feel confident that the Lord will work through this next step to bring about His purposes in my life.  I am seeking to pursue righteousness in fresh new ways in my life. 

“Sow for yourselves righteousness, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the Lord, until he comes and showers righteousness on you.”  Hosea 10:12

This verse has been on my mind often in the past few months as life has gone on around me.  I have been asking the Lord to break up the areas of unplowed ground in my life.  The areas of hardness in my heart where love and grace and mercy are difficult to see and live out.   The areas of hardness in heart where jealousy and unforgiveness show themselves.  The areas of lack of faith cause me to make poor choices that don’t lead to life and freedom.  My heart’s desire is that as I delve deeper into God’s Word in this season of in-depth study, I will see the fruit of unfailing love in my life; that I will see God’s righteousness showered down up on me.