Making Sense of the Hard Stuff

 As we have faced the challenges in our lives and walked with many friends and family members facing great challenges as well I have wrestled with my faith.  I have asked God why He allows so much heartache to touch His people.  I have struggled with making sense of the reality that for a time God has given Satan dominion of this world and as a result of sin and the resulting battles in the heavenly realm we see all around us great heartbreak and brokenness.  I used to ask why God would allow so much tragedy in life; why He would allow human trafficking, slavery, child abuse, 27 million children to live without fathers, autism, cancer, MS, cerebral palsy, deafness, and the list goes on and on and on. 

The reality is that we live in a fallen world and as a result of sin entering this world there is brokenness in every area of life.  This was not God’s original design for our world.  As He created the world and everything it He said over and over again, “It is good.”  But He did create Adam and Eve with the choice to follow Him or follow their own way – free will.  The serpent came in and convincingly deceived them into thinking that God was holding out on them and they reached and took more than God had designed them to take.  As a result of their choice to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil the whole of creation has been subjected to sin and death.  We see the results of this sin not only among humans but among all of God’s creation.  But this was not God’s original design and one day when He returns and creates a new heaven and new earth we will see the world restored to its full glory and original design. 

I have come to a place of seeing the challenges and tragedies of life as primarily attacks of our enemy.  In 1 Peter 5:8 it says “Be alert and of sober mind.  Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”  Just as God has desires for our life – to show us His great love for us and give us a future and a hope, so also the devil has desires for our life as well – he desires to kill, steal and destroy.  Recently God has revealed to me more and more the attacks of the enemy in my life.  As we walk with God and press into His heart of love for us and attempt to walk out in obedience the calling He’s revealed to us I believe the enemy gets pretty ticked off and often it is in these times, when we are following God that the most fierce attacks of the enemy come.  And yet we know that God’s Spirit within us has dominion over the attacks of the enemy. 

God grieves with us as we face the heartaches of life and desires to comfort us with His deep love, mercy, grace and compassion.  He desires relationship with us and as result allowed for us to make the choice to sin.  I am learning to trust His heart of love toward me and stop blaming Him for the heartaches of life that are a result of sin in our world.  Some people have said to me that God made Seth “this way”, – with autism.  I know these people are well-meaning and are trying to see all things as gifts from God, but I don’t believe this to be true.  Autism is the work of the enemy to steal my child’s abundant life.  Autism is not of God, autism is a result of the broken world we live in.  In the garden before sin entered the world there would not have been children with autism, deafness, cancer, cerebral palsy or any other illness.  Illness is a result of the fall.  There will not be any of these illnesses in heaven, God will heal my boys completely and oh what an amazing day that will be to see them made whole. 

As a walk through this broken world I hold onto the hope of complete restoration through my amazing Lord and Savior.  I believe that one day He will set all things right.  In the meantime I see His hand of redemption at work all around me.  What the enemy means for evil in our lives as Joseph told his brothers at the end of Genesis, God meant for good.  God takes that which the enemy thought was going to destroy us and uses it to bring glory to His name.  I would love to have completely healthy children and yet I wouldn’t trade the growth God has brought in my life or the relationships God has given me with others who are also struggling and the opportunities to minister hope to the hurting.  Our God is redeeming the brokenness of this day by day and showing His great love to many as redemption does its healing work. 

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”  Genesis 50:20

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.”  Hebrews 10:23

Fellow Captives in the Journey

We were not meant to walk the journey of life on our own.  God did not design us to be lone rangers, trudging through the challenges and rejoicing in the joys of life all by ourselves.  He designed us to live in community.  To be engaged with family, both biological and spiritual.  This is a great challenge in our individualistic culture.  We are inundated with messages from our society that we can do it all ourselves and yet this is not how God planned for us to live.  I don’t like to ask for help, even when I need it, how about you?  Asking for help makes me feel weak and incapable of handling things in my life.  Maybe this is where God wants us to live, feeling weak and calling out for His help.  A major instrument of God’s help in this world is to be His Church.  The body of Christ is to love one another; this is to be one of our primary witnesses to this world.  In speaking to His disciples regarding his departure following the resurrection Jesus said:

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.  By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”

John 13:34-35 (NASB)

How well are we doing at loving one another?  Are we honest enough about the shortcomings in our own lives to let others in the body of Christ show love to us?  I know I fall short in this area so often.  I put on the mask and act like I’m fine, when I really need the love and help of others around me.  And I don’t often enough look closely to see the needs that others have and take the time to reach out and show God’s love to my fellow brothers and sisters.  If we can’t love each other within the church how can we expect to begin to love those who don’t yet know Christ?

Through my journey of exile over the past 14 years I have been so blessed to have many fellow captives to walk the road with; brothers and sisters in Christ who are struggling to serve the Lord in gladness in the midst of life’s trials.  God has placed committed friends in my life who have shown His love to me.  I have been blessed to have several close friends who also have children with disabilities.  These friends really get it because they are walking a similar road.  These friends have been a wonderful support and encouragement to me.  I can talk with them about my fears and concerns without feeling that I am dumping a huge emotional load on them; without feeling that they think I’m crazy or extremely negative.  They know the same fears and struggle as I do in regard to what the future holds for our children.  I’ve also been blessed with many friends who have the wonderful gift of empathy.  They can truly sense the burden that I carry and then reach out and do what they can to lift that burden.  This is a gift that not all possess, but God has blessed me with many friends who have an amazing ability to put themselves in my shoes and really see what I need to keep running the race God has set before me.

Building friendships and being honest with others about my shortcomings and needs has been a vital part of my walk through exile.  Sometimes it seems like it would easier to just keep to myself and not share honestly about what is confronting me, but when I open up and really share my burdens with others those burdens become lighter.  The very act of speaking your concerns and deepest fears out, sharing those with another follower of Christ can be the beginning of letting go and allowing God to carry your burdens.  God uses His people to carry one another’s burdens, to come alongside and lighten the load through lifting one another up in prayer and offering real help to one another.

As I came to the depths of the valleys in this journey, and genuinely questioned my ability to continue to walk through the challenges before me; these people of God have been there to hold me up both physically and spiritually.  When I have been on the verge of giving up on life and my faith, God has brought His people to my side; to lift me up in prayer and carry me through to the other side.

In the midst of the deep valleys God has surrounded me with his children standing in the foothills and on the mountain tops, calling and praying me out of the valley.  I am so grateful for God’s people.  They are a beacon to me in the midst of the dark storm.  Their prayers carry my family through times when we are on the edge of utter despair, but God is faithful to answer the prayers of His people and does not let us lose hope.  Ultimately I have not given up on my faith in God because of my godly family and friends.  I praise God for His provision to me in this way!